Everything comes crashing down

This post will be entirely off topic from what the rest of this blog is about, but right now I just can't bring myself to care about anything else.  You see, about a week before Thanksgiving, I came home from class to find that my wife had packed her things, and my son, and was planning on leaving.

 After four and a half years, everything that I thought I knew about my life and where it was going suddenly vanished.  I had plans... ya'know?  Plans for the future.  A bright and happy future with my wife and my son.  Finishing my BA and going on to get my Masters degree in Professional Communication, than helping American renewable energy companies market their products both here at home, and to China.  I had plans for my sons future, for his education.  Now I'm not so sure how to make it all happen.

A semester ago I was looking to the future with optimism, trying to create a plan for my family for the next five years.  Now, I'm looking at the past trying to figure out where I went wrong, and when I look to the future, it's clouded and filled with uncertainty.  Not knowing if I'll still have my parental rights as a father a year from now is heartbreaking.

Since that day that I found out everything had changed, I've been trying my best to find and put back all the pieces.  Attempting with some level of naivety to save a crumbling relationship.  I've made offers of family counseling, trial separation, and anything else that I can think of.  However, the only option that I've been given is a straight and final divorce.  How did I not see this coming?  Where the hell has my head been while my spouse was slipping away from me?

I have no answers to those questions, and even less hope that I'll ever have those answers.  For now, everything that I thought I knew about life and love has been thrown out the window.  So I'm left standing here, all alone, with naught but a ring that's lost it's luster, and a very small shred of my sanity that remains.